Flow and the Meaning of Life
To be happy no matter how life changes, do what totally absorbs you
“Go with the flow” frequently means a sort of adaptability and general nonchalance over our circumstances. But the kind of mental attitude you need to have in order to go with the flow of life actually requires a lot of discipline. Flow, as Hungarian-American psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi defines it, is “a state of concentration or complete absorption with the activity at hand and the situation.” A level of engagement in which nothing else seems to matter.
The two meanings of flow may seem different at first but are actually the same. And they’re actually quite related to the concept of the Tao.
The Tao, or way, cannot truly be defined any more than we can truly define “reality”. Some feel it as a kind of greater intelligence, others as a general pattern. Some want to personify it as “God”. But aside from theoretical physicists, most are in agreement that the way of the universe is impossible to explain and largely subjective. But we do all have a vague sense of it. One reason why is explained in a thought exercise. We are a part of a much larger equation, a cell in an enormous organism. So while we can’t conceive of the whole body, we have a feeling for our part in it and a rough idea of what the whole is. If there is a universal theory of everything, it can be intuited because we are a part of it. And so long as we play our parts and do what makes us so happy we forget our neuroses, the sages say, we are following the way.
In other words, Tao is the natural way of the universe broadly. Flow is how we can align with that personally.
As an idea, it’s very difficult for many to accept. Surely, we can get more specific than that? Not really, because meaning is subjective and while we can expound at length on what happens when one does things that they later regret, many will do them anyway. As anyone who’s participated or witnessed college parties can attest, many will even be miserable not doing it until they’ve had enough of the regret.
But what if doing what merely makes me happy causes other people to suffer and that makes me feel bad? Good, you have developed a conscience. Now doing what makes others happy makes you happy as well.
What if trying to please too many people exhausts me and I no longer feel good doing it? Good, you realized your limitations. Stop doing so much and learn how nature flows effortlessly. Witness trees that live for millennia or turtles that live for centuries because they barely move and have found the secret to taking things slowly.
And if taking things slowly makes me feel like a lout and ashamed for my lack of accomplishments? Turtles and trees die in anonymity, I want to make an impact! Good, then go and change the world, but be aware that change encounters great resistance, and be careful that you do not change it into something you detest.
The point is, flow is what you as a distinct personality that is also a part of the greater whole feel gives you great purpose/happiness/joy right now. It’s why it is defined so simply as an adequate amount of challenge coupled with a sense of timelessness and complete engagement with the task at hand. Because trying to stand on a surfboard could be complete misery for one person and utter bliss for another. It’s why the Flow Genome project will come up with endless iterations of types of flow and still be unable to prescribe an exact formula for how you can get into it.
With the current pandemic in full swing, a lot of people are finding that their flow changes. What once seemed the most vital way of entering flow now becomes utterly unimportant. For a while, all of my friends were drawing. Now, many are trying other things. At the end of the day, the only advice anyone can ever give on the true meaning of life is to pursue what feels meaningful to you.
Having read different spiritual texts, meditation guides, and religious scriptures, I can say that the works can only speak to those who define meaning in similar ways to the book. Someone who still sees earthly pleasure and material wealth as the ultimate pursuit will find very little in the Tao Te Ching. Someone who refuses to comprehend the world as anything more than the random interplay of atoms and particles will find “God” to be a waste of time.
Likewise, someone who can define meaning for him or herself and who has the bravery to learn from the world and the consequences of their own actions will find the books a nice guide but really just needs to take action.
So what’s the key to a happy and meaningful life? You can only do what feels right to you, and do it until you are completely indifferent to it. Do it until you have extracted all meaning from it.
Then flow into something else.