5 Things I Learned From Ending My 1.5 Year Jiu-Jitsu Hiatus
Why we need group training and community to push us to where we need to be
Resuming my Brazillian Jiu-Jitsu after a year and a half off was brutally necessary. The pandemic coupled with the fact that I had a young child and a pregnant wife at home made it all but impossible to train even if the gyms hadn’t been mandatorily shut down for nearly a year.
While I was disheartened at first, I eventually learned to love my time off, taking up gymnastics rings to get out and experience places I’d never considered working out in. But after moving back to my old neighborhood and seeing all the emails come through about my gym’s revival, I knew it was time to go back. So today I did it.
My neck hurts, my joints are creaking and I am utterly exhausted in a way I haven't been since my son was a newborn and I did all his late-night feedings. But I learned some things in my first class back that I think could be good for anyone with a lapsed passion they might be thinking of returning to:
No matter how hard you push yourself, the gym pushes harder.
I shadow-boxed, did HIIT, worked out in parks and home gyms, and got in better shape than before the pandemic hit. Or so I thought. Coming back to my first class, the instructor had us do drills I hadn’t seen before. Within minutes I was in agony as I struggled to complete yet more sprawls and drills. I sweat more in the first 15 minutes of that class than I had all COVID.
While you won’t be as good as you were, you will be better than you think.
About halfway through the class, I gave myself the out to leave after three rounds of sparring (or ‘rolls’ as we say in jiu jitsu. My first round was against someone two belt-ranks above mine. He was older and practiced gentler jiu-jitsu and while I can’t be certain he wasn’t going easy on me given my rank and his lack of ego, I did surprisingly well. Next, I went up against a purple belt one level above me. He was likely still competing and so brought his best game. I tapped out at least three times for silly mistakes. Lastly, I matched with a white belt. While I wasn’t able to decisively beat him, I did alright. Perhaps next time, I will help him learn more instead of focusing on my own development and ego. Bottom line: the ring rust is definitely there, but even after a year and a half off, I’m not starting over.
It will be awkward, but soon the awkwardness passes.
The first thing we do after our grueling warmups is drilling. We make eye contact and pair off to practice some simple movements that are designed to improve our reflexes. I bumble through them. My memory of how to move in jiu-jitsu ways isn’t all there, and I clumsily mess up my training partner’s drills more than once. When we regroup to take instruction and pair off to practice techniques, my partner sneaks away to find someone with the basic proficiencies I’m supposed to have. It’s a bit embarrassing, but it passes as I quickly find someone more senior who happens to not know the repertoire all that well so we’re both patiently helping each other learn.
Later, after the end of my third roll, I’m in the shower when I hear the end of class. I’ve been gone so long I forgot that there would be a final circling up followed by class announcements. I think about apologizing for ditching class early on my way out but the head instructor is busy. There are thousands of such out-of-place-feeling little moments one feels on their way to mastery, and it’s rare that anyone dedicating themselves to a pursuit won’t encounter them coming back from a long layoff. It will be forgotten by tomorrow, anyway.
You will remember the other reasons you loved your sport.
This was an all-levels Saturday class, which meant students ranging from six to sixty. I had forgotten how much I liked watching parents bring their children to class until the student next to me bent down to tie his young son’s belt. A thought I’d never had on the mats sprang to mind: In a few years, I’d like to do that with my own son.
And then there are the celebrations after the weekend classes that happen at nearly every martial arts school I’ve ever attended. Students going for leisurely lunches; joking, and getting to know one another outside of class as they replenish the hundreds of calories they just burnt. While I had to leave early and didn’t get to meet the new crew, I did get to take in the cool breeze on my bike and an espresso shot at a favorite cafe I hadn’t visited since before lockdown. It’s harder to spend half the day hanging out when you’re on childcare duty. Also, as much as we might long for a return to the way things were before the world changed, it helps to remember that there was never a “normal”. The outside world, and your world, are constantly changing. We will be much happier if rather than fixate on what we can’t do in these strange times, we appreciate what we can.
Get ready to be very tired.
This was originally a 10-point listicle, but I am way past the point of wakefulness.
Excellent! This is why I keep going to a school. There’s nothing like being pushed and challenged!